NiliPod - Scary Stories (31 October 2015)

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This is without doubt the scariest time of the year, Halloween, so it really is the perfect time for some of this...

Halloween Jokes

What 'product' do witches like to use on their hair?
Scare spray of course.

What was it that the girl said about Dracula the vampire when he kissed her?
She said that he was a real pain in the neck.

Hunting Terror in the Woods

A couple of men were out hunting for deer in the woods during stormy weather. It was the end of the day and the sun was just starting to set, creating an orange pumpkin like glow to the sky.

All of a sudden they spotted a deer in the distance and one reached for his gun, aiming it quietly so as not to be spotted by the creature. The other man suddenly groaned, clutched his chest and collapsed to the floor, suffering from what appeared to be a fatal heart attack.

In a panic, the hunter grabbed his mobile phone and dialed 999. When the operator asked what the problem was, the man shouted out 'Help me, my friend is dead. I don't know what to do. Please help me'

The emergency services operator exclaimed 'Oh my goodness. Now calm down. Let's make sure that he really is dead'.

The hunter replied 'OK' and then there was a rather long silence. Then, the operator heard a loud gunshot. The hunter returned to the phone and said:

'Yep, done that, now what?!!!' Duh!

Rap Rap Rap

An old woman bought a small cottage in the woodland, which was dark and a little eerie looking. She had heard rumours that the cottage was haunted, but she didn't believe in ghosts and haunted houses, and therefore she wasn't worried. The cottage was cheap, because nobody else wanted it, and so she felt she'd got a bargain.

The first week in the cottage was uneventful. The removals men moved all of her furniture and belongings, and she soon settled in. However, the following week she was lying in bed late one night and heard a noise. It went:
'Rap, rap, rap!'

She froze and thought that she'd imagined it, but then a few minutes later she heard the same noise again. It went:
'Rap, rap, rap!'

So she got out of bed, found a torch and started walking towards the noise, which seemed to be coming from the cupboard under the stairs.
'Rap, rap, rap!'

And again:
'Rap, rap, rap!'

She slowly walked down the stairs, shining the torch so that she could see where she was walking. She didn't put the light on because she was a bit stupid like that. She heard the noise once more, much louder this time:
'Rap, rap, rap!'

With that, she opened the door slowly:

[LOUDER] 'Rap, rap, rap!'

And do you know what she found inside? Some wrapping paper! Duh!

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