What do skeletons like to eat when dining out?
Spare ribs!
What do skeletons tend to say before they start eating their food?
Bone appetite!
Spooky Scary Skeletons
A couple of teenagers were enjoying a bit to eat in Subway one day, talking about the town's many urban legends.
Tom was telling his friend Joe about the haunted graveyard. He said that apparently, each Halloween, the old mayor reaches up from his grave and tries to grab anyone walking nearby, pulling them into the ground to join him for eternity.
Tom said that that the only way to prevent the mayor rising on Halloween was to stick a knife into the ground at midnight.
Joe said that it was utter nonsense and as Halloween was tomorrow night, he would visit the mayor's grave that night with a kitchen knife and stab it into the ground if he saw a skeleton hand push through the surface.
On the night of Halloween, Joe bravely walked into the graveyard, which was far more spooky then he expected. An owl was hooting [SOUND] and he could hear a distant dog howling [SOUND] - he was freaked out. Eventually he reached the mayor's grave and he knelt on the ground, shaking with fear. The clock struck midnight and he waited for the skeleton's hand to appear, but nothing happened, so he stuck the knife all the way into the grave anyway, just to make sure that the mayor wouldn't rise this year.
As Joe went to stand up, he felt something pulling him back. He realised that the mayor had woken up and was pulling him down into the soil, where he would surely die. The more he struggled, the more he felt himself pulled back. Eventually, he plucked up the courage to look down...
...and then he saw that he'd just put the knife blade through his coat and simply pinned himself to the ground. Duh!
Graveyard Terror
One dark, wet and windy Halloween night, a student called Jimmy was walking home after the pub had closed. He had drunk a little too much and was looking for a shortcut, and decided to cut across a nearby graveyard.
The wind was howling and the sky was pitch black. In the distance he heard a moaning noise, which was getting louder and louder, and then all of a sudden, the ground opened up and swallowed him. Then he heard a voice calling his name softly and he was convinced that it was Satan, come to get him for drinking too much.
The hole was deep and dark, although as his eyes started to adjust to the darkness, Jimmy began to make out a figure in the distance, speaking his name over and over again. With this, Jimmy screamed, and the voice moaned - 'You can't leave'.
Jimmy scrabbled like crazy, trying to climb upwards, and as Satan approached, he gave one giant leap, caught the edge of the hole and managed to pull himself to safety, leaving the Demon Devil behind and running through the cemetery games, all the way home.
As it turned out, Jimmy had fallen into an open grave that his drinking buddy John had also stumbled into a few minutes earlier. He ended up stay in the hole until the gravedigger arrived the following morning. Duh!
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