NiliPod - Chart Countdowns (24 October 2015)

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Extract from the James Bond special on 24th October 2015 (Exciting Espionage Extortion Extravaganza and the Emperor's New Clothes)

Now, what would happen if Paul Hollywood had actually always been James Bond. We think that the film titles would have been different.

So what we're going to do now if a top ten countdown of the best Bake Off inspired 007 movie titles, going from rubbish to not too bad.

We've made up some epic Bond-ish music for the background for this next feature. Completely unique to us. So here goes.

Top Ten Bake Off James Bond Films

And straight in at number 10, it is:
Diamonds are Forever
Which would be:
Almonds are Forever
When a baking heist goes wrong and Mary's bakewell tarts become stale.

And it is a non-mover at 9.
Which would be:
Sponge Finger
Starring secret agent Charlotte Russe.

Up two places to number 8, yes, it is:
Dr. No.
Which would be:
Dr. Dough
When the yeast gets out of control.

Last week's number six, at 7 it is:
From Russia with Love
Which would be:
From Russia with an Oven Glove
When things get too hot to handle in the kitchen.

Down three and this week's number 6, it is:
Which would be:
Thunder Paul
When Paul Hollywood has bad wind.

Still at 5:
Live and Let Die
Which would be:
Live and Eat Pie
When MI6 agents have a birthday party and eat too much.

Up one to this week's number 4:
For Your Eyes Only
Which would be:
For Your Lemon Meringue Pies Only
When recipe espionage when spies infiltrate the Bake Off tent.

Still at number 3, it is:
Never Say Never Again
Which would be:
Never Say Measure Again
When a confident Paul Hollywood throws away the measuring scales for good.

Down one place at number 2, it is last weeks number 1:
You Only Live Twice
Which would be:
You Only Sieve Twice
When a Victoria sponge sinks in the middle when it is taken out of the oven too soon.

And this week's brand new number 1:
The Man with the Golden Gun
Which would be:
The Man with the Sticky Bun
When icing gets everywhere when Mel and Sue have a food fight with Paul's sticky buns.

And there was one more Hollywood James Bond film that didn't quite make the top ten - Skyfall.

Oh yes, the Bake Off version of that is Trifle.

Oh, what is that then?

Well, it is basically, fruit, jelly, custard and cream.

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